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May. 6th, 2009

You are everything I want
because you are everything I'm not.

Apr. 27th, 2009

Sometimes it feels good to admit that the last person you wanted is the one person you truly need.

Jan. 19th, 2009


Happy Birthday, Ryan Matthew.
I miss you like crazy. I could have used you today.
Shit, I could use you everyday.
I went to the Pier today,
kind of like on your last birthday here...
when we walked the icy pier and almost fell.
and then laughed until we cried.
I miss you.









Mike Stem is moving to Kentucky.
There goes another best friend.
First Ryan leaves for good.
Now the one other person who got me through that.
I'm so broken. It actually surprises me. a lot.



I hate school.
It's easy as shiiit.
I mean, I love going to GV, and I love the kids,
but I haaatee going 4 days a week.
I haaaate being away from Averie.
I never see her and it hurts so fucking bad.
If I didn't have her picture plastered all over my notebooks,
I'd probably give up. 


I did run 2 miles today though.
well... a mile and a half until my ankle started hurting.

Oh yeah...
I fell off of my mom's front steps & slightly sprained it.
Also got in an accident on my way to GV.
nothing bad...just stuck in a ditch. Thanks asshole driving the white SUV.
I hope your car explodes.


God, I'm such a bitch.
This is what happens when my best friends go away.

Angela is never allowed to leave.
Ever.


Yeah, today was a shitty day.

Jan. 1st, 2009

My new year's eve included free beer.
It has to be a good sign.


So it also included crowded bars, expesive drinks, creepy 90-year-olds, outrageous covers, and near hypothermia....

But FREE BEER.
COME ON.

I'm still pulling for a good year.

Dec. 28th, 2008

Sammi K
Amanda
Megannn


we need to hang out asap.
for rizzle.

that is all.
LOVE.

Another Rant.

SO.

I go to Muskegon Tire...about 3-4 weeks ago to get my alignment fixed, because it had just started acting up a few days prior. They were all like, "Yeah, our machine is broken....but we'll give you a call when it's fixed. It normally takes a day or two." So I TOLD them what had been going on with my car, and if I would be okay to wait, and they said that it didn't seem like a big deal. Well, 3 weeks later, I didn't get a phone call, so I go in today, and asked if they got it fixed, and they did. Like a week or more ago. Yeah, thanks for the call. So I was like, "Well, I'd like to get it fixed." And they were like, "Do you have an appointment?" And I look around the empty shop and say no. He was like, "Well we can do it tomorrow." And, as much as I wanted to argue, I didn't. I also had asked them to look at my front tire, because it kept going flat over the past week or so, but I needed an appointment. Whatever. So I went on my way, stopped and got some lunch, and was about to go Christmas shopping, when, low and behold, I got a fucking FLAT TIRE. And no one to fix it, seeing as everyone I know has a life and is generally working on a weekday (go figure, right? ha). So I call Muskegon Tire and ask them if they have a tow truck...because I SWEAR I saw a flatbed on their lot. But, according to them, I was seeing things. I tell them what happened, and I was told that they would do the repairs for free, because it was their tire. So 45 minutes & $60 later, a tow truck dude hooked me up and put on my spare. I go back to MT, and they start working, and then come back in and were like, "Yeah...we can't fix the tire because the wires are showing through because your alignment is bad." And I go, "OH. YOU MEAN THE ALIGNMENT THAT I CAME HERE TO GET FIXED 4 WEEKS AGO THAT YOU SAID WOULD BE OKAY TO WAIT ON?!?!?!?" And they were like....."Yeah. So You need a new tire. It'll be $69.10, because it's not a problem with the tire, it's a problem with your car." At this point I am livid and whatever he tells me is responded to with "Yeah, whatever." So, as I'm about to leave, they tell me not to drive excessively because the other tire is going bad as well. So I'm like SWEET. Because I didn't just replace these tires 5 months ago or anything. Needless to say, I cancelled my appointment for my alignment. AND I just found out that I would have paid about $15 extra to get it fixed there, rather than where I'm going to go.

So yeah. I spent $130 on my car today. And tomorrow it'll get another $110.
Looks like there's not gonna be much of a Christmas again this year.
Dammit. I fucking fail as a parent sometimes. Or I just fail at life.

I quit.

Stolen From Amandaaaa


Step 1: Put your ipod on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line or two from the first 36 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song may be.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing, looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own


1.) Soft trace of your finger tips, the round shape of your pressed lips. Why can't this be easier for me?
2.) Your grandad left home for the circus, he was young just like me with home to explore.
3.) Things swifty come and go, I'm dreaming of her. She's seeing other guys, emotions are stirred. The sun is gone, the nights are long, and I am left while the tears roll.
4.) Hand out the window, floating on air, just a flick of the wrist and I am waving you goodbye. Drive past the lifeguard stand where I'd sit around waiting for you to remember.
5.) Tell me that you're alright, yeah everything is alright.
6.) You can't fool me, I saw you when you came out. You got your mama's taste, but you got my mouth.
7.) Hey Mr. DJ, Song Pon de Replay, hey Mr. DJ won't you turn that music up?
8.) No sir, well I don't want to be the blame, not anymore.
9.) Force field super shield, aye aye. Junior high love affair is okay.Jump on the big wagon cuz I'm SoCal, I'm big in everyway. I'm running as fast as I can.
10.) I grew up on Pop Rocks and Transformers and Slip-n-slides, Toys-R-Us and Chuck E. Cheese. Disco out and techno in, synthesize my favorite sin.
11.) It's true; we're all a little insane. But it's so clear, now that I am unchained.
12.) We all have a weakness some of ours are easy to identitify; look me in the eye.
13.) Six A.M., day after Christmas. Pull some clothes on in the dark. Smell of cold, car seat is freezing. The world is sleeping, I am numb.
14.) Everytime they turn the lights down, just wanna go that extra mile for you.
15.) Tryin' to decide, tryin' to decide if I really wanna go out tonight. I never used to go out without ya, not sure if I remember how to.
16.) Shuts the door, it locks behind. He checks his watch; a third past nine. He thinks to himself, "I'm late again."
17.) I don't mind where you come from, as long as you come to me.
18.) I can honestly say you've been my mind, since I woke up today. I look at your photograph all the time.
19.) I fly like paper, get high like planes.
20.) Maybe if I act like that, that guy would call me back.
21.) There's something in your eyes, is everything alright? You look up to the sky, you long for something more.
22.) Close your eyes, and I will be swimming, lullabys fill your room, and I will be singing, singing to only you. Don't forget I'll hold your hand; watch the night sky fading red.
23.) Oh why can't I be what you need? A new improved version of me
24.) I am an arms dealer fitting you with weapons in the form of words.
25.) Come with me if you see anything worth while, my child, I'll show you anything and everything. To go heaven for the weather, but to hell to sell your soul.
26.) Honestly, what will become of me? Don't like reality; it's too clear to me. But really, life is dandy.
27.) I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to.
28.) Caught somewhere in between a lie and living the dream. No peace, just clicking machines.
29.) Get up, get up come on let's go. There's just a few things I think you should know. Those words at best were worse than teenage poetry.
30.) An old man gave me a tip he said, don't waste your time with politics.
31.) Say you're sorry that face of an angel only comes out just when you need it to. As I pace back and forth all this time because I honestly believed in you.
32.) There's a lot that I don't know, there's a lot that I'm still learning. As I think I'm letting go, I find my body is still burning.
33.) All I want is to be with you, all I want is to be with you. Show your cards, show me what you got. We'll break these poker faces like it or not.
34.) Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you.
35.) Let's let the memories drift away. Let's let the memories away. Where did you go, these pictures of you on my wall.
36.) Superstar, where you from? How's it goin?



Guess away!

RANT.


fjdsklajfskldj;fkl;djfakljrkl;ewajfskldajgfklaurewjhgklahklewa.


So Mike calls me today, and is like, "Yeah, so my parents are going to Florida next weekend for two weeks." I'm thinking this means that, like anytime that his parents go anywhere, which is a lot, he's going to need extra help with Averie. Then he drops a bombshell: "...And I'm going with them. We'll be back January 6th." and i'm like WHOOOOAAAA. Hold the fuck up. So he's leaving his DAUGHTER at CHRISTMAS. and giving me ONE WEEK notice.

Yeah. I went to Vegas. For 5 days. And I made damn sure to give him a lot of notice (...like, oh, i don't know.....7-8 months or more), and I was the one who made arrangements. ***I*** made sure that if he needed help while he was at work, that my mom or cousin could help out. HE IS GIVING ME NOTHING. and, like last year, I get to break my new years eve plans. And tell work that, even though I'm pretty sure that I'm already scheduled, that I can't work 35 hour weeks over break. OH ANNNNDDDDDD i get to try to find someone to take her all day my first day of class at GVSU. Which means...I get to miss class. Because, well, I mean everyone has lives...and his parents...well don't. Except for trying to make mine a living hell.

AND
I get to come up with either $1500 or find a lawyer that does Pro Bono work so that I can get full custody and full child support for my daughter. Because this shows that he thinks only of himself, and not of Averie. He doesn't deserve to be in her life.


-end rant....for now-

would YOU hire him?

So at work today, Megan & I got bored.
So we filled out a fake application.

For Billy Hills.
Who is 2 years into being "home skooled."
His favorite movies include One Night in Paris, Debbie Does Dallas, The Notebook, and Jesus Christ Superstar.
His previous places of employment include:
-Mickey D's.
-Murphy's
-Frontier Mart.
He wants to work at FV because of the back room & the hot babes.


Come on.
I'd totally hire this person.
If he exsisted.


God, we're tools.

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